Burchester Tales 13: Love Tips

Davy is on hand to give Ross some advice in the latest episode of Burchester Tales.

Burchester Tales: Episode 13

Love Tips by H. Lewis-Foster

Davy sat in the Students’ Union bar, wondering what on earth he’d let himself in for. Gus had caught him at a weak moment, when Davy agreed to meet Lee’s lovesick flatmate. He didn’t even know what the bloke looked like, other than the fact that he had ginger hair. Davy looked around at the few dozen people in the large and alarmingly bright blue room. Some were drinking and chatting, while others were awkwardly waiting for a girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever.

The young man behind the bar looked thoroughly bored, and was clearly wishing his afternoon shift away as quickly as possible. His expression may have been full of ennui, but his face was fascinating. He had luscious brown eyes and perfect pale skin, with a fine gold ring through his lower lip. While he would never dream of having his own flesh pierced in such a way, Davy found bodily ornamentation in others a real turn-on.

In the absence of Lee’s friend, who was now ten minutes late, Davy was about to introduce himself to the captivating barman. But then the door swung open and in rushed a lad with divine red hair and the sweetest freckled face, who simply had to be Ross. If Davy had known he was so cute, he would have offered his advisory services earlier. Then Davy remembered Gus’s warning words.

“Ross is absolutely and utterly straight, Davy. So don’t get any ideas, okay?”

Davy had given his word that he would behave with chaste decorum, but having seen Ross, this might not be such an easy task. Davy stood and held out his hand, as Ross approached looking more than a little flustered.

“You must be Ross. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Ross tentatively shook Davy’s hand. “Sorry I’m late. The traffic was a nightmare, and then I couldn’t find anywhere to park my bike.” He blushed and looked even cuter. “Thanks for coming. You must think I’m a complete weirdo, asking to meet you like this.”

“Of course not.” Davy smiled at the enchanting rural burr of Ross’s voice. “Now let me get you a drink.”

When Ross had his pint of lager and Davy his gin and tonic, they sat in one of the cushioned niches which were dotted around the room. Ross still seemed rather nervous, so Davy took the plunge and began the conversation. “I understand you need some assistance in attracting some female attention.”

Ross coughed self-consciously. “Well, it’s just the one girl, actually. Sophie.”

“Sophie. A lovely name.” As Davy took a sip of his gin and tonic, connections began to form in his mind. “And she’s on your course, is she?”

Ross nodded. “First-year biology.”

Davy couldn’t believe the coincidence he’d stumbled upon. “That wouldn’t be Sophie Rhys-Smythe, by any chance?”

“That’s right.” Ross looked flabbergasted by Davy’s apparent omniscience. “Do you know her?”

“Sort of. I was at school with her brother, Giles. He came up to visit last week, as it happens.” Davy remembered he had to clean the rum stain on the drawing room carpet, which Giles had kindly left behind. “Sophie used to come to fetes and speech days. She’s a nice girl, as I recall.”

“She is.” The look on Ross’s face was endearingly pathetic. “And now I’ve got no chance, if her brother went to school with you. I’m guessing you didn’t go to a bog-standard state school.”

“Not exactly, darling.” Davy’s termly school fees had been more than most people’s annual salaries, but Ross didn’t need to know that. “But it doesn’t matter which school you went to, or how much money you have. If someone likes you, they don’t care about your background.”

Ross bit his lip, clearly wondering if he should share his thoughts. “That’s not what I heard about you and Gus.”

For a moment Davy was taken aback and somewhat disappointed that Gus had gossiped about their relationship, but he couldn’t deny that the main cause of their split had been their social differences.

“You may be right there, Ross, but I don’t regret a minute of my time with Gus. Even if it was never going to be a lifelong love, we had a wonderful time together. And you might have the same with Sophie.”

“You think so?” Ross didn’t look convinced. “How do I even get her to go on a date with me?”

“Just ask her.” Davy had always been outrageously confident, but he knew others weren’t so fortunate. “I know it’s a cliché, but just be yourself; there’s no point pretending to be something you’re not. Go up to her when she’s on her own—not in a creepy, stalkerish way, obviously—and ask her if she’d like to go out for a drink.”

Ross looked positively traumatised by the idea. “But what if she says no?”

“Then she says no. It’s her loss. Would you rather be slightly embarrassed by getting turned down, or always wonder what might have been?” Davy unthinkingly placed his hand on Ross’s knee. He was relieved to find Ross didn’t flinch away, as Davy honestly hadn’t meant it as a sexual gesture. “Sophie will never know you like her if you don’t tell her.”

“I suppose.” Ross’s face blanched beneath his freckles. “But what if she actually says yes?”

“Then you’ll take her out and see what happens. You’re a nice guy, Ross.” Davy swiftly removed his hand from Ross’s knee, to ensure his words were not misconstrued. “Like I said, just be yourself. And if Sophie is in the slightest bit mean to you—which I’m sure she won’t be—just tell her you know what happened on last year’s holiday in Rome.”

Ross looked naturally intrigued. “What did happen on last year’s holiday in Rome?”

“I’m a gentleman, Ross, and don’t reveal secrets unless absolutely necessary.” Davy tried not to laugh as he recalled Giles’s account of his sister’s unexpected dip in the Trevi Fountain. “But rest assured it’s nothing so scandalous as to stop you asking her out.”

“So you seriously think I should ask her out?”

“My dear Ross, you have to make the most of life. The only thing you’ll regret when you’re old and grey is the things you were too afraid to do.”

Davy was quite impressed by his philosophical statement, and Ross seemed to be too. He downed the rest of his beer and stood up, a determined look on his face.

“Right. I’m going for it. Thanks for your advice, Davy.” Ross smiled coyly as he turned to leave. “You’re brilliant, you know that?”

“I know, my dear.” Davy chuckled as he waved Ross on his way. “I know.”

© H. Lewis-Foster 2015. All rights reserved.